How to Meditate When You Can’t Stop Thinking
Mindfulness and meditation have become some of the most overused terms in the last decade — but for good reason. Some practice meditation to train their minds to focus and manage emotions, others integrate it into their spiritual practice, and some simply do it because, well, everyone else is!
Yet, many struggle with meditation. Clients often tell me they’ve tried different techniques but give up because they can’t “clear their mind” or “stop their thoughts.” So, they assume meditation isn’t for them.
When I started meditating, it was at one of the lowest points in my life. I thought my struggle was because of my circumstances, but even after six years, there are still days when meditation feels difficult. In fact, no two days are ever the same. The moment I sit down to meditate, thoughts pop up — memories from
the past, worries about the future, hopes, anticipations. But that’s exactly what the mind is designed to do. Why fight it?
The goal isn’t to silence the mind. It’s to become aware of our thoughts and gently return our focus — whether to body sensations, the breath, a mantra, or an image. Meditation isn’t about achieving a blank state; it’s about noticing where our attention drifts and bringing it back with kindness to where you want it to go. It’s about awareness, not emptiness.
If I tell you not to think about a pink elephant while reading this, what happens? You think about a pink elephant! That’s what happens when we try to suppress thoughts. But meditation isn’t about stopping thoughts; it’s about observing without attachment.
During a group coaching session, one participant shared their frustration with meditation, explaining how they kept getting lost in a rabbit hole of thoughts — only realizing it minutes later. Another participant offered a simple yet powerful shift in perspective: “What if you just observe your thoughts and do nothing about them?”
Even in the struggle, there’s progress. Becoming aware that you’ve drifted into a train of thought is a win. How often do we unconsciously lose hours dwelling on something unproductive? Meditation helps us notice and return. That’s the practice.
This clicked for the first participant, who responded, “I’ll try to do nothing.” Immediately, Yoda’s words came to my mind: “Do or do not. There is no try.”
If we are trying to do nothing, we’re still trying, which means we’re not truly doing nothing. So how do we reach a state of true stillness?
It may seem counterintuitive, but the key is to allow whatever is happening. Can you be okay with whatever thoughts arise? Whether they come at a pace of one per minute or thirty per minute, can you simply observe without judgment?
Not every meditation session will feel the same. Even if your mind is flooded with
thoughts the entire time, can you still call it meditation?
Sometimes, you might feel like you’re “doing well” — no thoughts at all. But isn’t that a thought too? If meditation were truly thought-free, you wouldn’t even notice it! Instead of striving for a “perfect” session, what if you simply observed and just allowed the experience to unfold?
I love Headspace’s analogy: Meditation is like standing by a road, watching cars (thoughts) pass by. The goal isn’t to stop traffic but to avoid getting into a car. In the beginning, you may find yourself inside a car before you realize it. That’s okay. The practice isn’t about avoiding thoughts; it’s about noticing when you’ve been swept away and stepping back out.
The more times you step out of those cars, the stronger your practice becomes.
So, does this perspective shift anything for you? The next time you sit to meditate, what will your intention be?
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