A Guide to Life and Career Transitions
Photo by Leo_Visions on Unsplash
In the last six months, I’ve had several coaching conversations with people in the midst of transitions - considering career shifts or taking a leap of faith toward something they’ve always longed to do.
There’s a striking energy shift I notice every time:
They feel expansive, alive, a twinkle lighting up their eyes when they talk about what they want to do. Sometimes, they don’t even have a clear picture—just a hazy idea or visual—and yet, even that sparks their excitement.
They feel restricted and contracted when they speak about their present. They’ll talk about how many factors are at play, how they can’t just make a move, even though they aren’t fully happy with what they’re doing (or know they could be happier).
This line of conversation almost always takes me back to a two-day workshop I once attended. Within a week of it, I decided to try coaching full-time…even though the facilitator explicitly warned us not to make any life-changing decisions for at least 15 days after the course!
What helped me make that shift? Understanding the difference between being reasonable and being alive.
Reasonable vs. Alive
Being reasonable is what we’re taught to aim for as sincere, responsible adults. It keeps us safe, but it also limits the choices we allow ourselves.
Being alive often means taking risks. And yes, risks come with consequences. But if you’re ready to own your choices and the consequences that come with them, you free yourself from the need to always be “reasonable.”
When we make decisions, we usually weigh pros and cons. We decide what makes sense, what’s safe, what’s reasonable. But to feel alive, it’s not just your head that must agree—it’s your heart too.
An Ice Cream Metaphor
Imagine you’re out for ice cream. Your usual go-to is black currant. But today, you see a new flavor you’ve never tried. You can only pick one.
Now, your mind says:
“You came here for black currant. You already know you’ll enjoy it. Remember last time you tried something new and didn’t like it? What if you regret it? You’ll be robbed of the joy you could’ve had.”
So, what would you do if you were being reasonable?
If you were ready to own your choice, you might still go for the new flavor—fully aware it might spoil your mood, but also knowing you can live with that.
Being in choice means you’ve considered the reasons… but then you freely choose whatever you want and accept the consequences.
What if you applied this thinking to the bigger choices in your life?
What if you looked at the options available to you, just as they are. And then asked yourself:
What could be the consequences of choosing this option? What price would I need to pay?
Am I willing to pay that price?
If the answer is yes, you’re free to choose any option you want—even the “unreasonable” one.
These two questions help in two ways:
They can burst certain fantasies you’ve been holding onto because you realize you’re not okay with the consequences.
Or they can show you the opposite, that the consequences are actually exaggerated in your mind and not as severe as you imagined.
It also helps you be honest with yourself. Take the things you feel stuck with, for example: “I CAN’T leave this job right now because of the market… because I don’t know what else I could do… because [insert reason].”
This reframing helps you see that you are choosing not to quit, because you don’t want to face those consequences.
The situation remains the same, but your perspective changes. Suddenly, you’re back in control. You’re choosing as an empowered being, free to do whatever you want.
Often, it’s difficult for us to exercise our freedom, so we externalize the consequences. That way, we’re spared the burden of making bold choices. It feels easier to live in the fantasy that “I could have done XYZ, if only the circumstances were better.”
So, next time you think about something you’ve wanted to do for a long time but haven’t—ask yourself:
What’s the price I’m willing (or not willing) to pay? And what am I choosing?
If this reflection resonated with you, you might also enjoy these:
And if reading this made you feel even a little more expanded, and you want to continue this journey—I’d love to support you as you navigate your way forward.
Click here to explore how we can work together.
