Living Someone Else’s Dream: Lessons From a Diving Getaway

Photo by Tegan Mierle on Unsplash

Have you ever noticed how we start romanticising a certain way of being or a lifestyle — especially when we’re on vacation?

And then, if we stay a bit longer, the charm sometimes wears off, and we find ourselves craving the familiar.

That’s what happened to me while spending time around a vibrant diving community. I admired how they worked in beachwear, met people from all over the world, got to dive regularly, walked barefoot everywhere, and carried an energy of freedom and expansion in how they lived.

But after three days of diving, I started feeling a bit lethargic. (I had been overambitious and overexcited while planning my dives!) I was still inspired by the community, but I began to wonder — how do they do this day after day? Once all the dive sites in the area are explored, wouldn’t the novelty wear off? And with travellers constantly passing through, would deeper connections become rare?

I also realised I might not feel intellectually challenged enough if I spent extended time diving.

Then again, diving professionals might look at someone like me — spending hours at a laptop — and wonder how I survive without regular access to nature.

Two things became clear to me:

1. What makes us feel fulfilled and engaged is deeply personal.
   What might feel repetitive or uninspiring to me could be someone else’s ultimate thrill. It lies in the nuances — what you notice, what you solve for, what lights you up.

2. Our communities shape what we enjoy.
   They add a particular tint to our lens — affecting how we see the world, what we value, how we think, and what brings us joy.

And within our lives, we move through many micro-communities — different groups we connect with for different reasons.

The way I feel, the conversations I have, even what I aspire to — shift depending on whether I’m with a running group, friends from consulting, my coaching community, or family.

We become a version of ourselves that fits into each of these groups. And yet, we remain uniquely ourselves.

We gravitate towards certain people, yes — but it’s also true that the people around us shape what we gravitate toward.

This isn’t just true in our personal lives.

In organisations, talent acquisition teams now strive to reduce the influence of similarity bias in hiring decisions — ensuring selections are based on the role’s needs, not just on affinity or “gut feel”.

But bias is subtle. I recently heard a founder reflect on how consultants in their team tend to hire other consultants. A warm, people-focused leader tends to create a team that mirrors that warmth — a bit through who they hire and a bit through how they lead the team.

It’s hard to be questioned or to accommodate a working style very different from our own. But it can also help us clarify our beliefs, stretch our preferences, and update what no longer serves us. Or atleast allow us to consciously choose to continue to be the way we are.

So if you were to look around at the team you’ve built — 
What similarities do you notice? And what might you want to do differently next time you’re in an interview?

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